My husband often questions why I allow myself to think so deeply/ feel so deeply, especially for those I don't even know. A school shooting, states away with no one that I can even call an acquaintance harmed, can rock me to my core and bring me to a desperate place. When my friends are walking through difficult seasons, me too. When they are celebrating something, me too. I know many of you are "over the top" feelers like me, because you're here, allowing my heart to connect with yours (thank you so much for that).
When trouble strikes, the hope that I hold onto is the Sovereignty of God. This is trusting that that if I could see what He sees, I'd truly want what He wants. That His ways are higher and mightier and holier than I could even imagine. And if my heart beat the way His did for the hearts of His children, then I would want Him to allow even the devastatingly hards that He allows. But, as it is, I can only catch a glimpse. As it is, I don't feel like it's right that one of my best friends is fighting cancer at such a young age. As it is, I can't see His hands in the growing number of foster children in Florida. I don't understand why some people, who would make the most amazing parents struggle with infertility. And often, I just don't understand His ways of making His name known.
But, my friends, I do trust His heart. I see in part what He sees as whole, and so lies faith.
This story struck me recently and I want to remember it. I want to tell it to my children and my great grandchildren. I want it to come to mind when the next hard, beautiful, or ugly thing rolls into my lap. The Parable of the White Horse and the Old Man originated in Chinese in year 139 BC. This is a retelling by Max Lucado. I pray that it speaks to you the way it did me and we can be changed for the better because of it together.
The Old Man and The White Horse, Retelling by Max Lucado
There’s an old parable about an old man and his white horse. In this parable, the old man has a beautiful white horse. He could sell it and amass a large fortune. The old man chooses to keep it in a stable and never sells the horse, His neighbors think he is crazy, telling him that there will come a day the horse is stolen and the man will have nothing.
That day came. Waking up one morning, the horse was not in its stable and was nowhere to be found.
The man’s neighbors were right all along and they rushed to tell the man he was now cursed because he had lost everything.
The man’s response is profound: “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people were offended by what the man said. “How can you say this?” they asked, “it is clear that you are cursed no matter what your perspective might be.” The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?” What a fool the neighbors thought.
After several days the horse returned, he’d not been stolen, but ran away. On his return, he brought with him a dozen wild horses.
Now the neighbors had to come out to tell the man that he was right all along and in fact, he’s a blessed man because now he has a whole herd of horses. The man responds again: “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”
The man’s neighbors found it hard to argue with this. “Maybe he’s right,” they said. But deep down they knew the old man was wrong. He had one horse now he has thirteen — how could he say he isn’t blessed?
The old man had a son — his only child. The son went to breaking these wild horses when one of them flung him off, landing he broke both of his legs.
The neighbors were awestruck at the man’s wisdom. “He was right we were wrong,” they thought. The old man, being too old to do much on the farm, no longer had his son available to work the land. With no one tending the farm, he would likely lose his income.
Not long after this, a war broke out in the old man’s country. All young men were called up to serve in the army where most would perish, leaving many fathers without their sons.
This was true for the old man’s neighbors who had sons that were to never return home. They went to the old man weeping, “you were right, we were wrong.”
“Your son's accident is a blessing and while his legs are broken you will have many more years with him,” they said, “We will not, our sons are gone. You are blessed, we are cursed.”
The old man responded once again: “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
Ahh friends to accept each moment of the day as it comes. To have open hands to receive but also to give. To trust a God that gives and takes away. To see a diagnosis as His will, a job offer as his will, a death as His will, a birth as His will. The simplicity in this is beautifully hard. But, I am challenged and hope you are too.
Love always,
Jessica
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