"Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light." - John 12:36
The moment had come. There was a contraction and a push away from my first born son's eyes meeting light. I felt every contraction that led me closer to him on that day. From the excitable ones felt while walking our neighborhood. Through the stronger ones felt in the shower as my husband and I gathered our things for the hospital. My son, would be in my arms this very day, Mother's Day, 2020. There was a journey between us still. One of purposeful darkness. He intuitively knew it was time to make his final descent and entrusted that my arms would catch him on the other side.
Leaving his safe womb that he had grown limbs and organs within for 40 weeks and 3 days to enter a world so wildly unknown. The midwife guided my husband to feel our son's head. And then, my husband saw him, in all of his new perfection. Our son, Judah Benaiah, was finally here. And for the first time, he saw light.
When God began creating He began with light. Just as a newborn baby only previously knew darkness, the earth too was black and unformed. And then, like the crowning of an infant, light meets darkness for the first time. Darkness cannot be noticed next to its counterpart. It can never measure up again. Light has won and will continue to be victorious.
A baby never attempts to crawl back into his mothers womb. The light of day has brought reality to the crevices of her face, and he loves her. He looks and finds his food source within her breasts, and they nourish him and comfort him deeply. But, now that darkness has been overcome by this new light, there is never a moment where he doesn't know her. The light could fade to blackness once more, but he'd find her. He knows her smell in the darkness. The light gave her away.
When I surrendered my life to Jesus, I experienced His light in my life fully. My eyes were closed, yet I saw more clearly than ever before. My knees hit the ground in my Jacksonville apartment at age 24 and it struck me. I'd never be the same, and I didn't want to be.
Darkness always has a way of attempting to shadow over us. In times of hurt or ache, it creeps in once more. It is alluring and appealing to follow its deceptive touch, but we now know light. And there is no darkness that light cannot overcome. It takes strength and courage to choose light over and over again, but here, in the illuminated space, our hearts are healed. Released of control and surrendered into the arms of our creator.
How can we bravely choose light today?
In what ways has light brought joy to your dark soul? A morning sunrise? The last light of day peaking behind an orange cloud? The glow from a night light on your little ones face as you sneak back in for one more kiss?
Receive light my friends. Be light.
Love always,
Jessica
