"Are our lives bearing fruit - or are we duct-taping on fruit to impress others with our lives?" - Ann Voskamp
My husband Josh took up gardening this year. Very seriously, I may add. Half of our small backyard looks like a jungle orchard with 4 large planter boxes, berries vining up our fence, and 5 fruit trees. This wasn't some whim decision for him, it was hours and days of research and learning. It was studying and comparing and pricing and building. And let me tell you, I am impressed.
The boys have loved learning alongside him and even more so love the fruit that it bears. Specifically, the cherry tomatoes. My boys eat them by the dozen if we allow.
Dirt isn't my thing. Smelly composting, flies, and even the patience it takes to watch a seed grow, are not things I enjoy being hands on with. However, from the porch, I have thoroughly enjoyed my husbands labor of love. To create a meal with fresh vegetables that were grown with your hands is something I feel every child and adult should experience.
Josh's zucchini plants took off running. They grew so fast and were so delicious. About a month into their fruit bearing season, they seemed to be stunted in their size. He went to the local plant ranch and asked the experts questions about this. He tried a few different sprays and watering techniques without success. Finally, one evening, He pulled out an entire plant and found the cause.
Squash Vine Borers were the culprits. Apparently there's a moth that lays its eggs at the base of the stems of zucchini. The eggs hatch and the worm-like insects enters the stem and feeds inside. This prevents the flow of water and nutrients between the leaves and roots. No amount of love, medicine, or attention would cure these plants. Their fruit bearing days were over and they had to go. Completely uprooted and into the pond, I could see the disappointment on my husbands face. Of course being a first time farmer of sorts, he expected this, but it still hurt!
At the end of the day, new seeds were planted in the spot where the dead and dying were uprooted. A new foundation of dirt and water- a new opportunity to bear fruit. Within a month, beans began to sprout and I believe soon we will have an abundance of green beans to enjoy and share. Without the dying zucchini, the beans would never have been planted, and lessons may have not been learned.
It isn't about plants my friends. It's about our hearts. So often I find myself trying to hold onto something that just simply has lived its life and is no longer bearing fruit. It is no longer bringing joy and quite frankly it is killing me on the inside. Recently, I acknowledged that my perfectionism in caring for our home was taking a serious toll on my joy and presence with my boys. My expectations had to change for the season I am in. And thanks to Godly women who speak so much life into my heart, they saw the root of my stress even before I did. This wasn't something I could modify or rearrange to fit into a different square. It had to be totally uprooted and rewritten.
Maybe for you it's a relationship that you know God has asked you several times to step away from. A hobby that you used to enjoy that has now become an idol. A job or career change? Maybe it is even a fear that you are holding onto! A fear that you are cradling like a baby in an attempt to avoid the thing God is truly calling you to.
Whatever it is friend, I know the pain of pulling it out by its roots. I get the fear of starting over. But, my heart fears more the seeds that may never get planted if you don't. The what-if's at the end of our lives, that could have changed the course of history and rewritten the beautiful story of you.
Love always,
Jessica
Judah showing his bestie neighbor friend Ms. Lauren his berries bushes.
A proud cucumber pick!