When I was sleep training with Judah, I'd sit outside his door in the middle of the night praying for him to feel peace and fall back to sleep. Before that though, I'd let him know I was there for him, offer water, and lay him back down before closing the door behind me. In his little mind, mommy was gone from him. Far away. And he was alone.
I know you feel this sometimes with God. You feel the silence, you sense the darkness, and you can't see where or how to take the next step. You're lost and alone. You cry out and it seems no one is even listening. The door is closed. Or so it seems.
Between the old and new testament of the Bible, God was silent for 400 years. There were no new prophets after Malachi, there were no new teachings, just silence. Deafening Silence. Literal, lifetimes of silence.
Right before this silence though (about 430 B.C.), there was a lot of good that had happened! The Jews had returned to Israel from the Babylonian captivity. The temple had been rebuilt. Both the Law and the priesthood of Aaron’s line had been restored, and the Jews had given up their worship of idols.
Just like a Florida summer day can hold within its reach both storm clouds and sunshine, there was a lot of ugly intertwined with the good. At this time, the Jewish people were mistreating their wives, marrying pagans and not tithing. The priests were neglecting the temple and not teaching the people the ways of God
And its here, in the middle of a time brimming with beauty and chaos that the silence began. 400 long years of heavy silence.
It would seem as though God had given up on His people. That he had thrown in the towel. He had had enough. The good could never outweigh the bad.
Even though it seemed God had stepped off of His throne, He was still very much there. Even though it seemed He wasn't moving, He was working.
I'm no historian and surely no Bible scholar, but I can assume some things here. Think about what God had to be doing during this silence. God was preparing Jesus' lineage. He was lavishing love over Mary's great grandfather and great grandmother. He saw that they would conceive and have Mary's Grandma who would eventually have Mary's own mommy who would have Mary! This isn't chance, it isn't happenstance. Mary would be the one to carry Jesus, the crown of the universe, in her womb. She would need to be brave. She would need to be chaste, holy, and humble. These character traits would've been taught to her from a line of beautiful women, all most likely, seeking truth and wisdom from the Lord.
God was working. God was preparing. And, through Mary, Jesus would be born, breaking all silence.
400 years of silence, but God in the flesh, Jesus, was right on the other side of the door. He was cheering on His beloveds and He was making a way to them.
I'm reading a book called, "Discipline That Connects With Your Childs Heart." There's a chapter that focuses on giving your child the message that they are "called and capable". One piece of this is teaching your children that they are "called and capable" of being patient. It seems to me that patience isn't something innate in our kids. The authors talk about teaching patience very early on by making young toddlers wait for something for even just 20 seconds. They say this will begin to build the foundation for kids that are capable of being patient. In the initial teaching moments though, you don't just tell your child to wait. You wait with them. You smile at them and say encouraging things to them. Then, they will know they accomplished something in this waiting, when you celebrate their patience.
I tried it.
Judah loves to give our dog, Jax, treats. He opens the closet and the doggy treat box, strategically chooses one, and independently closes the lid! He then hurriedly gives Jax the treat and laughs. It may be his favorite thing to do right now at 14 months old. Today, I gently placed my hand on top of the treat box and told Judah, "We are going to wait for Jax to sit to give him the treat." He did look at Jax, but I'm sure he didn't fully grasp the concept of what I wanted him to wait for. I smiled at Judah and reminded him, "We are being patient." Jax sat, Judah gave him a treat, and we celebrated.
Now, what was my point? Jax is a good pup and doesn't necessarily need to practice his "sit" command. But, I wanted to introduce the act of waiting to my child. Typically, he'd have a fit. My sweet beautiful child likes to do anything but wait. But, this time, he was calm. He giggled and he waited. I think it was the fact that I was present with him in the waiting that gave him the peace to know his waiting wouldn't be forever.
Because God is God, we don't always get to see and understand the things He does. We often get the what without the why. We often hear the "wait" without knowing the "how long" and the rationale. It's the hardest thing sometimes, but we can be assured that God is still moving. He is still working. He's still got the whole world in His hands and He still has you in His arms.
So, we can fairly ask, "What's His point?" Why the wait. We can see the good the next season of life would hold, and we believe He can and will do it, but what is He waiting for? What is He doing?
Would you believe me if I said that if you could see what God sees, you'd truly want the things He wants? Even in the wait? Even in the lonely cries, when God is on the other side of the door, not giving you next steps. Even in the silent nights, when you want nothing more than to hear a new baby cry. Even in the unknown. Even in the not yet.
We may never truly know why we have to wait on this side of Heaven. Scripture says that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We may never fully get His reasoning. But, we know it isn't for nothing, and He is indeed working.
God is molding you.
The deepest desire of Gods heart is that you would trust Him and love Him. When we truly trust God, we allow Him to mold us into who He wants us to be. We stop telling the artist where to put the next line, and we bend to His desires for us, because He knows best. God always sees us as a work in progress, not desiring perfections from us, but a teachable spirit. Would you be bold enough in this season to pray "Mold me and shape me God, until I think like You. Until I want what You want."?
He is making you brave
The easiest thing to do sometimes is to get ahead of God. To think we know better and take steps away from His plan because, well, it is just taking too too long. The bravest thing you'll ever do is fully lay your life in His hands. Not because you know the outcome will always be good, but because you know that He is good.
He is building wisdom in you
Have you ever met a child or adult, whose parents have given them everything they've ever wanted? They get into trouble and their parents immediately go to bat for them, solving all of their issues. Ok, we all know that person. Would you ever really call them "wise"? Of course not. Unfortunately, they most likely don't know how to be.
A good dad knows that in order to build wisdom, he has to encourage "out of the box" thinking. He has to support the long hard wait times. He teaches his sons and daughters to save up and prepare. He allows them the chance to fall, even though he could've caught them.
The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Perhaps, we need to wait on our desires, because our good and gracious Dad is building wisdom in us as we learn to revere Him.
He is building patience
Ok. I know. Obviously. But really! I know you're waiting. But, are you patiently waiting. Are you acknowledging the gifts in the "not yet" season? Are you praising the things He has said "Yes" to in your life, or only focused on the current "no?"
Friend we have a Holy calling and it starts today. Today in the waiting, God wants to use you. But if our hearts and minds are totally fixated on the thing He hasn't done for us yet, we totally miss the way He works in and through us today.
He is building anticipation
An eight year old girl on Christmas morning. The way she runs down the stairs to see if Santa came! Ohhhh, and he has!!!
In your waiting, God is building a Holy anticipation in you. We can pray with expectations that God will do in and through us what He sets out to do. We can pray big and bold prayers because He's a big and bold God. So, pray! Ask! Keep asking! And then sit in peace, knowing your God heard you and He is working.
He wants your heart
Our God is a jealous God. The good kind of jealous. He's jealous for our hearts. When we desire something more than we desire God, that's an idol. We are aching and craving that thing, more than we ache and crave knowing God in a deeper and more real way. Of course Jesus could flex and grant us our wishes. But the genie in the bottle goes back into the bottle when the wishes are granted. Christ doesn't want to be just the giver of your gifts, he wants to be your gift. He wants to do life with you and through you. He desires your love and adoration to be on Him, not what He can give you.
Friend, you feel alone. You feel like you've prayed that prayer 100 times. Can I encourage you to pray again. He is listening. He is right on the other side of the door. Sitting and doting over your heart. He is aching for you to enter into the peace of life that He can offer even in the silent waiting. Pray with me?
God we love You. We truly want You over anything this life has to offer. But, often it takes one small experience or conversation with a well-meaning friend to pull us back into this desperate ache of want. We feel Your silence in this area of our lives and sometimes it seems You don't care. God, we will try to trust Your heart when we can't see it. Lord, we pray for wisdom, bravery, and patience as you walk with us in this season. And we pray with a Holy expectation that You will come through because thats just who You are. Lord, that our desires would align with Yours and we wouldn't be at a tug of war in this. Give us peace in the waiting. Help us to see the gifts in today. Amen.
Until next time sweetest sisters,
Jessica