In the Thick of It

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides still waters, He restores me soul."

-Psalm 23:1-3a

Mothers Day came and went and all I have to show for it is this image of a worm. Yep, a real slimy gross worm made it to my camera reel this year. No picture perfect mommy with her hair neatly flowing down her shoulders while wearing a spring dress. No photo of her boys lovingly by her side or in her arms. No capturing of her loving husband with his strong hand resting on the small of her back outside of church. Nope, this mommy has one picture from Mother's Day, and its of a worm.

The reality of my days can be captured fully by the dried spit up on my shoulder, the glob of snot my toddler wiped on my shorts, and an aching back from holding one or both of my babies. I'm in the thick of motherhood, and let me tell you, I am both tired and in giddy awe of the beauty here.

Back to Mother's Day. It didn't even include tuning into the online church service, let alone showing up pretty. When is the last time I washed my hair? My toddler was sick and teething and my laundry baskets live in a state of overflowing. In this season, accomplishments look like full bellies and sound sleeping. My to-do list is dust covered and my "me time" is spent in a quicker than lightning shower that occurs right after distinguishing one fire and knowing another is on the horizon. Usually with a toddler smooshing his little face on the glass to be able to see me.

Before I continue, let me explain the worm photo. Judah and I were zooming in to examine its little body. We talked about how it moves on its belly and how it has no legs. Judah instantly flopped down on the sidewalk to attempt "the worm" toddler style. You see, there is beauty here. Beauty in the moments that I am quiet enough to pause my mind from everything I need to do, and open them to what I am doing. I am discovering creation and awe with my 2 year old. I am bending my knees and bowing my heart to love and see beauty in the details. In the chaos. In the loud. In the "lets get shoes on" and "please for the love of goodness, can we wear pants today?". In the thick of it, lies moments, and those moments add up to life. So, I rub my sleepy eyes to fully see it.

When we are in the hard, whatever that hard is for you today, it is so easy to focus our eyes on it. Gaze loudly at the ways we have failed our kids 3 times before 8am. Stare shamefully at the clutter of toys around the house and who knows what brown goo stuff on the couch. All the while missing the gifts.

Maybe for you, your singleness is screaming at you from within. Maybe a loss of a loved one is causing your heart to mourn and sink into emptiness. Maybe your desire to be a mom is the loudest thing in your soul. Is your home recently emptied of children's laughter, as you walk into a new season of "empty nesting"? Or, maybe for you, you have it all. Yet, you still can't seem to turn happy on. Whatever it is friend, you may be in the thick of it too. You may be in a season that is just hard. But, for a moment, can you shift your gaze with me? Can you look out and over and beyond what is happening to you so that you can thank God for what is happening for you? What is happening within you? What God is revealing around you?

Psalm 23 was penned by David during a time of great fear and rejection. King Saul, someone who David served gladly, a fatherlike figure in his life, wanted to kill him. He must have felt the deepest level of abandonment and anguish. A fight between feeling deeply sad and becoming bitter or angry. His heart was heavy, yet he couldn't even mourn, because he was running for his life.

David cries out to his God who is steadfast, unchanging, unmoving, and always aware of what he is going through. He begins the Psalm with these words:

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."

1. David names God and claims his protective watch over him, like a vigilant shepherd over his lamb.

2. David realizes his lack of nothing. Even in a season where he was displaced from his home, abandoned by his community, and running for his life. He knows it in his soul, so he says it out loud until his heart believes it; "all I long for, God has."

God may not promise us wealth or the picture perfect life. But He offers us peace in whatever season we are in. He doesn't give us more hours to the day, but he can multiply our efforts in the time we are given. He may not add two arms to your body to hold the 3rd screaming child in your home, but He can and will give you stillness of the soul as you seek him for constant guidance.

David continues:

"He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul."

1. David recognizes God's leading hand. He pauses within his scary and heart wrenching days to hear the gentle voice of God leading him to his next step.

2. When David allowed God to lead him to rest, he was restored. God is inviting David to a place of rest amongst the chaos! He is calling him to literally "lie down". Can you imagine? "Take a nap David, I know your enemy is out for your life but just close your eyes son, I will keep watch. And when you wake up, you will feel restored."

What are you facing today sweet friend? Take a moment and thank God for his protective watch over your life. Ask Him to reveal to you the gifts that even this season holds. And maybe you are in a beautiful season that doesn't feel any bit hard, that's amazing!!! Breathe in that gift and raise your hands to give God glory for that too!

We can trust Him to guide us and give us rest even in the thick of life's most beautiful and challenging seasons. We can trust him to multiply our efforts and restore our souls AND our aching backs. We can choose to see the beauty in the hard. And when we do this, we fully live. Present and awake for it all.

Love always,

Jessica

gifts:

Sibling love

Fresh air

Cool breeze

Reflections on the water

The way a boy wants to be like his daddy

Shirtless backs receiving the warmth of the sun

Some green grass even amongst the dying patches

The way grass smells when it is cut

Baby's first smiles

Tired eyes, awake for it all