When I was a little girl, my mom used to stand me in front of the mirror and make me say it. I'm not sure I truly believed it, but I liked the way her arms felt around me. I liked the way she looked deep into my eyes through the mirror and made sure I was looking into them too. "I want to hear you say it Jes", she'd say.
"I am beautiful." I'd give in.
"Say it again." She'd prompt.
With a smile, and depending on the day, maybe a few tears, but I'd say it again.
"I am beautiful."
As a mom of two, I now know the deep desire of a mothers heart to want her kids to know exactly who they are. And more than that. I want them to know whose they are.
I think back to those days in front of the mirror with my mom, and I wonder if she too needed to believe those words. I wonder if she was speaking truth to herself as much as to me. That perhaps the reason she needed my little heart to believe my worth was because she knew the world would never tell me.
When does it happen? Somewhere between toddling and racing out the door with our backpacks, we hear the worlds lies and begin to ask the questions.
Am I beautiful?
Am I worth it?
Is there anything truly special about me?
Will I ever be noticed?
Am I enough? or, am I actually too much?
The little 4th grade student wonders it when she has to come to school for the first time since getting glasses. The college freshman asks herself as she sits down at orientation. The new wife as she reveals herself to her husband for the first time. The new mom as she wipes her sleepy eyes and serves a sub par dinner to her husband, hoping he doesn't mind meatloaf, again. As she looks at her stretch marks and tucks jeans that are too small out of site for just a while longer. The middle aged woman wonders if she is even needed anymore. Her kids are grown and she's rediscovering a purpose. And the elderly woman looks back and feels the heat rush to her face as she asks herself if she was enough, did enough, said enough, showed up enough...
There is no race, culture, weight, age, or financial status that can protect a woman from it.
If I could see inside my mom's heart as she held me in front of the mirror so many years ago, I know I would see that the beat of it was an aching desire for me to see what she saw. She saw beauty. Inside and out, as she'd say. She saw talent and passion and kindness. She knew I was knit together in her womb for a purpose only God knew, but she wanted me to believe that it was a good one.
When you stand in front of the mirror today, please hear God's answer to your hearts questions. The answer is "YES."
He is holding you in front of the mirror so proudly. "See? See what I made?" "Can you see the details there that I thought of when creating you?" "Do you notice that freckle? that dimple? That laugh line? I thought of that when I formed you." "Daughter of mine, you are beautiful."
When your Daddy hears your hearts questions;
Am I beautiful? "The answer is Yes."
Am I worth it? "The answer is Yes."
Is there anything truly special about me? "The answer is Yes."
Will I ever be noticed? "The answer is Yes. I see you"
Am I enough? or, am I actually too much? "You are so priceless."
Love always,
Jessica
