"Love is not words, it's an action, and love isn't feelings, it's a decision." - Steven Furtick
I wish we said something other than “I fell in love.” I mean, I get it, but, it sounds like this love is just something that passively happened to us. Like we tripped into it and well, here we are! Truth is, it wasn’t a slip, and it wasn’t an accident. If you are in love or if you’ve ever experienced love, then you know there were purposeful, strategic steps that you took. There were late night phone calls, sweaty palms, activities that you didn't honestly enjoy, and a wild array of nervous thoughts consuming your days leading up to the declaration of love.
Lets take a journey back to before you ever uttered those three beautiful words “I love you”. You are sitting at home, and God whispers "ok, its time." You feel a peace about dating again. So, you purposefully and strategically sign up for the dating app. You swiped left to the guy with 5 cat pictures, and swiped right to Mr. Handsome face with the “Jesus is my homeboy” T-shirt. Sure, maybe you weren’t looking for love at all. Maybe you were just minding your own business when love brushed your shoulder in the hallway. But, it was you who said “yes” to that first date and all the ones after. It was you that determined this man was worth your time. It was you who chose to let him into the crevasses of who you are. If you’re in love, then you allowed love to come in. And, by allowing this love to come in, you simultaneously said “no” to the other septillion love potentials out there. This love is an active choice, a surrender in some sense to the deepest and most raw feeling.
I have a handful of really amazing single girlfriends. Like, really, really, really amazing. The ones that people get to know for ½ a second and say, “how on earth hasn’t some guy snatched them up yet?” So often, well-meaning friends of theirs will say “You’ll find love when you stop looking for it.” To which, I scratch my head. When have I ever found anything important to me, when I simply wasn’t looking for it? In order to “find” something you have to have noticed it missing! Even if it is tucked all the way in the back of your mind, you have to know a thing was absent for you to acknowledge you have now discovered it.
Just like any earthly relationship, our relationship with God will not just happen by chance. You won't roll over one day and check your news feed to find it. It won’t fall on you. And, you surely will not find it when you stop looking for it. Even greater than any human relationship, this love between you and God will be the greatest decision you ever make.
As is with a beautiful marriage or friendship, a relationship with God takes work. Hard work sometimes. Steadfast work that cannot come from reading a 5-minute devotional or attending church once a week. Think about it, if all you did was read what someone else had to say about your husband, would you confidently say you had a relationship with him? What if you simply attended a weekly event to hear what a man had to tell you about your best friend, never seeing them or experiencing them for yourself. Could you truly claim the BFF title?
Starting a raw and real relationship with the Creator of the universe can feel daunting at times. I’ve so been there. You may feel like you have no idea where to start. Or maybe you do know exactly where to start, and it feels like the heaviest load.
Let me first say, the God who has given you breath, wants you to praise Him with your breath. The God who formed and gave you time, wants to spend time with you. The Inventor of love, is right now, sitting with you, patiently waiting for you to turn to him, to see Him, to love him, and allow His love to love you. It’s easier to take those first steps forward, if we know the reciprocity is already there. So, here’s the real truth. The Creator God has already swiped right and bought the engagement ring. He isn't waiting for you to shed those last few pounds to squeeze into the white dress. He sees you now, as perfect, flawless, unmatched, and worth it. It’s your turn.
Talk to Him
The healthiest relationships are the ones where communication is prioritized. Misunderstandings aren't swept under the rug and hard hurts aren't pushed down deep. They are spoken, laid out to dry, all of it. The raw, the ugly, the beauty, the grace. Because, above all, you want to truly know the other, and be known by them.
Jesus isn't some far off God. We no longer need to wash ourselves clean by burning incense and sacrificing animals to get to Him. By His death on the cross, a way was made for constant and open communication. This isn't a get prettied up first date. This is a sit down with your Dad, messy bun, and hairy legs. This is an answering the door without your teeth brushed because you know it's your Daddy who adores you already.
When I get stuck and don't know what to pray, I pray through A.C.T.S. Its a simple acronym that gets the conversation flowing.
Adore Him. I just look out the window or at my life and I name things. I acknowledge His character and His closeness. I name his power and His mightiness. I take a moment to reflect on His awesomeness, and adore Him.
Confess to Him. I think back through my day/days and confess the times I forgot to love Him or my people well. I confess moments where I fell short and apologize for making it about me when it's always been about His glory.
Thank Him. Like any healthy relationship, a "thank you" is always in order and always beneficial. A focus on gratitude can still the raging heart. It can turn anxiety into joy and depression into hope. So I thank Him for things big and small like my home and my coffee. Like the beauty of the birds, and the details in the trees.
Supplication. This is the action of asking or begging for something earnestly or humbly. I ask God for the things I want. I ask for healings to come and for opportunities to present themselves. I ask for rest and patience and peace. The coolest thing happens though by the time I get here. My requests are beautifully tainted with a heart of gratitude and fullness. My requests to God are open handed, realizing His will is always better than mine. But, I ask, because He wants my heart. And a good daddy wants to hear what His daughter desires most.
Study Him
Psalm 119: 105 says that God's Word is "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." His word is the way to a grace filled and joy filled life. His word will guide you and enable you.
Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
We are daily filling our minds with something. We are allowing the words of twitter and the highlight reels of instagram to wash over us. The news is on in the background and fear is drowning out our faith. If we choose to fill our minds with truth and love and peace, then it is those very things that will guide us. It is humility, joy, and a peaceful spirit, that we will be known for.
It doesn't matter where you start. I started in John. What matters is that you start. Try to have a plan (These are great options: http://www.thebiblerecap.com ; The Bible App) so you don't willy nilly eeny meeny miny moe it. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and just start. Pray and ask God to open your eyes to the meanings and truth He wants to teach you. You won't understand everything, I'm not sure we are meant to, but you will grow and Jesus will meet you.
Listen for Him and Obey Him
I mean this in the sweetest way, but, be quiet! Sometimes I get so caught up in the "doing" part that I forget the listening part. When you pray, sit for a moment without saying a word. Give God space to speak. He is a patient God, he doesn't often interrupt, but if you listen, He will guide. When you read His Word, take a moment to reflect on what He is teaching you. Ask God how it relates to you and what He wants you to do with this knowledge. Then do it.
Thank Him
It doesn't need to be a structured prayer time for you to whisper or journal gratitude. Pointing out a perfectly painted sky to your daughter is an act of naming His gifts. Writing out a gratitude list when it isn't even November, is acknowledging His love for you. Do you see the way He's held you? Can you feel the way He sees you when you feel anything but noticed? Thank Him, daughter.
This love is beautiful and worth it. Choose to fall deeper in love with your Savior. Be purposeful, be relentless. Pursue Him the way He has recklessly abandoned His throne to pursue you. Like any good thing, the more you have, the more you will want. Open the door and let the love flow in.
I love pursuing this love with you my friends. Please subscribe on the home page so that we can do this together every week.
Jessica