I find myself here a lot lately as a new mom. You know the place, the sweet spot where you appear to have it all together from the outside. Your chores are being sped through and dinner is on the table, but one false move from anyone or anything could not only pop your happy but, send you into a tornado of emotions and tears. You're functioning on 20% or less, and empty is the enemy banging on your door craving you to let him in to destroy whatever joy you are holding to.
Just the other day I had a tantrum. Yes, a real life, full-blown tantrum. I won't make you wonder what a 32 year old mommy's tantrum looks like, I'll share my ugly with you. But first, a little back story of the day. The day was full! A good kind of full. Breakfast cleared and neighbor kids coming over, giggles, swimming play date, chocolate chip pancakes for lunch, and bubble blowers. Dinner was in the fridge ready to be popped in the oven, because I was awesome and made it at 9am. Friends arrived spontaneously and we were pumped! So much joy in one day. 5 o'clock rolls around and my husband asked me what degree dinner cooked on. We eat at 5 o'clock, my son gets hangry by 5:01. A simple question produced an achy shame, "I have failed." And not only have I failed, but the enemy is making believe, "I am a failure." I lost track of time. Quickly, I get my son a snack and life should go on, but the lies in my mind continue. The truth is, I am not awesome, I don't have it all together, and now it will show. I put the dinner in the oven and then realize I forgot to make potatoes. HUGE deal because on my meal plan board it says "Meatloaf, veggies, AND potatoes." Disaster had struck and I frantically ran over to get the potatoes with a crying, hungry baby on my hip. Here comes the tantrum.... I use all of might to empty the bag of potatoes all over the kitchen counter and floor, as I yell "I am NOT making potatoes!!!!!" To which my husband responded, calmly, "No one asked you to."
There you have it. I am a potato thrower. Poor potatoes. We had leftover rice in the fridge. I am wild and unhidged when my tank is low and my happy bubble gets popped. My day was full, but it was simultaneously empty. And empty leads me away from the me I want to be. What you didn't hear in the story is that I was sleep deprived (insert teething 1-year old), I did not have a quiet time to read or pray, I scrolled social media during nursing sessions instead of taking a true breather, and I never took a moment to rest, in the spirit of "getting it all done." Looking back there are several red-flag moments that I can see. I think sharing these red flags with you can help us to identify them in ourselves and aim to recharge before we hit empty.
These are "Red Flags" I have experienced often. Maybe you have others. The important thing is to pray and ask God to reveal to you what your "red flags" are so that you can be proactive to recharge.
Red Flag #1: The critic. This one is so sneaky for me. My heart will start to criticize others. I will notice their flaws and find myself annoyed with the people I love the most.
Red Flag #2: The comparison trap. When I am reaching depletion, I will desire what someone else has. Whether it be a body image on social media or the financial ability to be a stay-at-home-mom. I will forget my blessings, and focus on the thing I don't have.
Red Flag #3: Exhaustion. This should be an obvious red flag right? But, I find when I feel totally depleted I am more likely to lose my cool and be short with those people I love.
Red Flag #4: A complaining spirit. When I am fueled, I am less likely to complain and simply take the rest I need. However, when I am nearing depletion, I tend to keep pushing while simultaneously complaining about any and everything. Am I alone here?
So, what do we do when we recognize a "red-flag" moment? How do we pause to reorient ourselves when the world around us refuses to slow down for us. How can I recharge when the needs of my loved one's aren't met and I am just pooped!? Isaiah 30 has a verse that says, "Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependance on Me." On my potato tantrum day, I was believing a common lie that "more is best" and "completing my to-do list will feel so good." But, truth is, Jesus is rest, he is my recharge, and he knows best how I should fill my day.
So, let's recharge! These are some recharging options that help me. Take some time to discover what may help you! Commit to them! It takes minutes to recharge, it can take days to recover from a potato tantrum.
Recharge with prayer. Find a quiet space (or a loud one, and just be louder). Pray by first telling God how you are feeling. What is frustrating you? Breathe it out, speak it out, journal it out. He wants to hear from you.
Recharge with truth. Speak truth over yourself. What would you say to a friend who was believing a lie about herself? You would remind her that she is beautiful, that she is worthy, that she is capable, that she is ENOUGH. Tell that to yourself and breathe in the truth. If you struggle to do this, simply turn on worship music, and allow the words to speak truth to your heart.
Recharge with exercise. I will be sharing 15-minutes or less of calorie burning recharges soon! Sometimes this is all it takes and sometimes this is all the time we have. Science has proven that exercise is an effective medicine for anxiety and depression.
Recharge with time away. It feels impossible, I know mamma, I know. But, you are worth it. God sees you as the finishing touch on all of his creation. He did not say "It is finished" until YOU appeared on the scene. Sweet friend, God calls you to rest. It isn't an option, It's a command from our good and gracious Daddy who knows us best. He knows we need space and rest. Jesus went away from the crowd to meet with his Father. How much more do we need this to function well in the role we are called to play? Take space to recharge. Maybe a walk, maybe a shower, maybe an alone trip to your favorite spot, either way, take it.
What "red flag" is God asking you to address today? What can you do to recharge?
I love you my sweet friends!
Until next time. :)
Jessica
