A Letter to My Son

It was 4am on your second day home from the hospital. I hadn't left your side and I had no intention to. You were perfect. A miracle that I couldn't quite grasp the depths of, was fulfilled in your tiny squinted eyes. We struggled through nursing sessions, but the pain was bearable and easily accepted because of my overwhelming love for you. I played worship music over us often those first few weeks, but, on this day, through you, I learned something life changing.

The lyrics I had heard 1000 times played.

Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me You have been so, so good to me Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me You have been so so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the 99 And I couldn't earn it I don't deserve it, still You give yourself away Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

...

There's no shadow You won't light up Mountain You won't climb up Coming after me There's no wall You won't kick down Lie You won't tear down Coming after me

-Reckless Love - Cory Asberry

And I sobbed. I looked down on your perfect face, and I wept until there wasn't another tear within me. I knew in that moment, there would be nothing and no one that could ever separate my heart and yours. I knew my love would travel endlessly and recklessly across all of the mountains and valleys of your life, and it would never waver. I knew in that instant that I would never turn my back on you and I would turn the world inside out to help you.

It was in this moment that I rediscovered the love God had for me. My love for you, son, is only a fragment of Gods outpouring of love for us both. As I held you that morning, we were simultaneously being held by God. He loved you before you breathed your first breath. And for us, my love, God would turn any darkness to light and tear down any wall separating us from Him. My love for you opened a window of understanding I hadn't known before of Gods love for His children.

I won't love you perfectly Judah. I will fail you more times than you'll be able to count. But I will always apologize and point you to the God who has always perfectly loved you. And baby, I will fight for your heart to choose Him and live for Him as long as I have breath. So, here are my prayers for you.

My prayers for you

That you experience God's love

Judah Benaiah Gauger, I will recklessly, full heartedly love you until my last breath on earth. There is nothing you could ever do or say to change my love for you. I pray every night that you know how loved you are by your daddy and me. But, more than that, that you feel this overwhelming love of Jesus surrounding you even now.

Dear Heavenly Father, God would you make your presence so clear to Judah at a young age. Would he never remember a day in his life that You were not King of his heart. Lord let him experience your love so that he chooses to love you with his whole life. The world will be loud. God, be louder. Amen

That you are a leader

My sweet boy, you are never too young to begin leading the way God has called you. In you, is a warrior who will desire a battle and an adventure. God never intended for your life to be mundane and I will never encourage you towards the status quo 'American Dream'. My son, you were made for more, and I promise that your daddy and I will encourage you to find out what it is.

Dear God, you created boys to become men who lead. You wire them to stand firm when the battle comes. Give Judah the strength and power to do as you've called him to, in Your name. Give him wisdom to lead his family, his future wife, and his friends in such a way that honors You. Amen

That you love your people

Sweet child of mine, God has called you to love Him first and His people second. Where you are right now, is by no chance, You are where God wants you. The people in your neighborhood and your peers at school, were placed there on purpose and you have the opportunity to shine Jesus' light of love on them. Do it fiercely.

Dear God of love, give Judah a heart to see past peoples flaws and into the beauty that You have placed within them. Give him courage to stand up to bullies and encourage his heart to not be afraid of looking a little different because of it. Help him to see people in need and desire to help in a way that reflects your love. Amen.

That fear never defines you or persuades you

Judah, there is a lot in this world to fear. God tells you not to fear 366 times in His word. He tells you this not because there isn't anything to fear, but because He is with you. Put the entire armor of God on daily and know your strength is only limited by your willingness to use your Daddy's. Choose to be brave and courageous. Choose to trust in Jesus to never let you fall.

Dear God I pray that you never allow Judah to have a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. Fix his eyes on You Lord in the storms of life. Amen.

That you never lose your wonder

Bud, this may be my favorite thing about you. You run like lightning and then stop, back pedaling quickly to examine a leaf! To pick up a tiny acorn. To sit in awe over the way a worm moves its body. You slow me down. You open my eyes. You help me to see the beauty in a crunchy leaf and a blade of grass. I've missed it for so long. Judah, thank you. Your wonder is a treasure to my heart, and I am in awe of the way you see the world.

Dear God, we all have lost our wonder at some point. When was it? Thank you for Judah, enabling me to get mine back just a bit. God I pray that Judah never loses this. That he is always awed by You and Your creation. That his smile never fades as he sees the world and his life as glimmers of gifts from you. Amen.

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Friends, thank you for being with me today. I pray that you can take this letter and write your own to someone in your life who has pointed you back towards Christ in a beautiful way. I hope that you can use these prayers as a guide to pray your hearts desires over your children, and your children's children.

GIVEAWAY: I want to treat you so that you can treat someone else. Someone who has inspired awe in your life, pointed you to Christ or back to Him when you've walked astray. So, one of my friends will win a coffee treat to treat someone else!

To win, share this or another post with a friend via text or on social media! Let me know when you do by sending me a message, commenting below, or by simply tagging me on your post!! I will choose a winner on Sunday.

Love you all!

Jessica